This has been a rough couple of weeks. I have had to admit that I have been having more depression issues than I was willing to let on. I really haven’t been feeling well since January, and it kind of blew up in my face a couple weeks ago.
Mike went to a therapy session with me to get some of it settled and now my therapist is recommending that I go back to two sessions a week. I would be willing to go to five a week at this point to get me over this hump. Of course I am dealing with my insurance company to let me have that many visits. I went from having 60 per calendar year last year to 20 this year. My therapist is calling them this week to see what she can do.
It’s funny that I have unlimited regular doctor visits but when it comes to mental health there is a limit on care.
It hasn’t been all bad, I have been writing more; two pieces that I wrote have been posted here. I have quite a few more in my journal.
Mike and I have gotten a little closer during this time too. I have realized that I need to more honest with him and those around me about my recovery or they can’t help. I thought I had broken through all of this keeping secrets crap that my parent were SO adept at doing and taught us how to do.
I haven’t had much contact with my Mom recently because I just don’t think it’s healthy right now. Mike has taken up going over there and talking to her on the phone, which I really appreciate. Funny thing is that i checked my blood pressure on Sunday and it was the lowest it has ever been.
Gee…I wonder if there is a correlation.
I don’t really have much contact at all anymore with my family other than my niece and my ex sister-in-law, and I truly don’t miss it much. The more I am in therapy and the more I remember about growing up, the more I realize what a sick group of people they are. It’s just not something that I want or need to be a part of. Sometimes I think Mike and I should pack up Rocky and go live in the woods up in New Hampshire, which is a place that both he and I love.